|Birthdate||October 14, 2002|
|Occupation||Repair Man at Wachter Hardware|
|Concept||Ne'er Do Well, Drop Out|
|Played By||Miles McMillan|
A young man of 21, Ralph is the much more laid back sibling of Helen Wachter, and the other half of Wachter Hardware. When he's not following his sister's orders, he's doing whatever he wants. A fellow tinkerer, he's usually rigging up something to do what it shouldn't for shits and giggles. He's either the annoying lingerer or the funniest guy at the party, depending on who you talk to. Sharp, sarcastic, and when he needs to be charming.
He's been kicked out of school more than most, but he's charmed his way right back in every time. More than capable of being a good student, his teachers say he's too clever and gets bored easily and this is how they lose him.
He was on that hunting trip where his father George was killed, but like any other time, he was goofing off and missed the incident. A mistake he carries the guilt for and often a point of contention between he and Helen.
- "He Said He Fixed It.": Even if Ralph is charged with a job, it doesn't mean he'll do it right or well. He's often called back to try try again. Or he's ordered back by Helen to clean up his mistakes.
- Charm School: While nothing has ever been official, Ralph has a string of 'exes' he's left angry and heart broken.
- Custom Built: When he has free time, he's fixing up his dad's old Chevy Nova, of which he's been known to blast down Main Street at 3am, waking the locals and pissing off the Deputy.